Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Bahasa Malaysia Lesson

This is really funny, take time to read especially the examples.
I am not sure whether it was written by which author ..............

Ban on BERSIH extends to Dewan Bahasa
By Kuldip Gangaram
Monyet News Network, 19 July 2011

Kuala Lumpur, 19 July. Dewan Bahasa dan Perkasa (DBP) today confirmed that the word ”BERSIH” will be banned and taken out from the Malay lexicology. The chairman of DBP, Tan Sri Faizal Suresh Abdullah announced the decision at a press conference held at DBP’s main campus at Jinjang, north of the city.

“We are only following the Government directive. They said BERSIH is illegal, so we also follow lah. We are part of the same government, you know. From today onwards, nobody can use the word bersih. Anyone caught doing otherwise can be fined RM 5,000 or jailed for two years or both”, stressed Tan Sri Faizal.

When quizzed by newsmen what alternative words the public could use instead of bersih, Tan Sri Faizal added “we are not stupid. We have already thought about the inconvenience this ban might cause to the public. So, we had a lab, chaired by none other than Datuk Idris Jala, which studied the problem closely. And we came up with a brilliant alternative”.

To a question by MNN correspondent, Lattalilat Thamplom, Tan Sri Faizal said “since this problem was started by that freakin Indian woman, Ambiga, we have decided to replace the word bersih with ambiga. Very clever isn’t it”.

According to DBP "since this Indian woman started the problem, we are going to substitute bersih with her name. Clever isn't it ?"

DBP has released guidelines for this change of terminology that advises the public the right way of replacing bersih with ambiga. Extracts from the guidelines are appended below :

Contoh ayat menggunakan perkataan ambiga

Contoh 1
Cara lama
Murid-murid perlu menjaga kebersihan bilik darjah masing-masing
Cara baru
Murid-murid perlu menjaga keambigaan bilik darjah masing-masing

Contoh 2
Cara lama
Pantai itu sungguh bersih
Cara baru
Pantai itu sungguh ambiga

Contoh 3
Cara lama
Kamar itu dibersihkan oleh orang gaji saya
Cara baru
Kamar itu diambigakan oleh orang gaji saya

Contoh 4
Cara lama
Cuci bersih
Cara baru
Cuci ambiga

MNN has been reliably informed that many Local councils are now considering using the AMBIGA rating system for assessing cleanliness of restaurants. Instead of the conventional A, B and C or star ratings, restaurants may be rated 1Ambiga, 2Ambiga or 3Ambiga.

News Network
Your most reliable source of reliable news

SOURCE:Planet of the Monyets

Someone told me there is now a new English lexicon for the word "Sodomised" - it's now "saifulled"
Example: Anwar was saifulled ...



huntressmoon said...

ROFL loved the ending mave!

Someone told me there is now a new English lexicon for the word "Sodomised" - it's now "saifulled"
Example: Anwar was saifulled .

Monyet King said...

Kind of late... but nevertheless thanks for posting MNN reports. There is plenty more MNN reports at the Planet of the Monyets.

Maverick SM said...

Irene C,

Nice to see you here.

Monyet King,

Are the the blog owner?

Anonymous said...

Saiful Bookhari phoned me to say that he has just ambigakan his backside in the jamban

samgoh88 said...


So very glad to come across local pun
Showing no loss of deep intellectual fun
Proving that we don't just live solely by bun
When ultimately the pen is mightier than any gun

(C) Samuel Goh Kim Eng
Fri. 30th Sept.2011.