Thoughts for today

A man is not at his best when he is a slave to some habit

If you control your thoughts, you can control your actions.

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In the long run, men hit only what they aim at.

Therefore, they had better aim at something high.

-- Henry David Thoreau

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Every man serves a useful purpose: A miser, for example, makes a wonderful ancestor.

-- Laurence J. Peter

Sunday: A day of rest

Sunday is defined as a rest day. I had my rest day today. It had been restless weeks over the past few months.

I had not been blogging as much lately except for some jokes and fun stuff. Over the last few years I enjoyed blogging during my free time (even times when I am not). The brain always have something to tell and this blog was the space where I could write my thoughts. But I had not being able to do so over the last few months. The cognitive faculty could not function to churn out something to write that I used to. It's not burned out; it's not conked; it's just not motivated to write.

Maybe, the trills are gone; maybe, politics are not worth writing as its so predictable. There's also so many sites we can read all those socio-political stuffs we are anxious to read and find out. There are so many of them around: Malaysiakini, Malaysia-Today, Free Malaysia Today, and so many politicians from the political divides are bloggers.

We also have pseudo-politicians and we have also observed those who used to write critically on system dysfunctions, who now becomes converts - converting to accepting the old system of ideologies - most of whom are known to have received a second chance to helm significant roles that are rewarding, financially, benefiting from the current system administration.

So, I think I would rather write jokes, stories and junks. And I can spent more time reading books.

Story: Husband & Wife

" Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife I'd be home that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in another man's arms.

" Why, Dad ? Tell me why!"

Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said,

"Maybe, son, she didn't get the fax."

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A husband compliant to his mother-in-law:

"When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking.

Now after ten years it's all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking."

"Why complain?" said the mother-in-law. "You're still getting the same service!"

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A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and said,

"Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?"

"I would love to." Replied the husband. "But I don't know her well enough."

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From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said, "One month after I die I want you to marry Mohd."

"Mohd? But he is your enemy?"

"Yes, I know that ! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer now."

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In a divorce court a woman told the judge: "Your honor, I want to divorce my husband."

"But why ?" asked the judge.

She replied, "Because he is not faithful to me."

The judge asked, "How do you know?"

She replied, "My lord, all my children do not resembles him."

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Computer-literate Parliamentarians

Budget debate in Parliament.

See what the Law-makers were doing during the debate?

Do our MPs play Solitaire during parliamentary sessions?

No? Malaysian MPs are better? Or did they spent most of their time shouting at each other, make sexiest remarks and pour racial slurs ... and ultimately voted YES to any Bills without reading them? Maybe; and maybe not!

The Parables of 3 Beggars

There was a good-natured millionaire in the town.

Three beggars thought of approaching him for help.

The first man went to the millionaire and said: "O Lord! I want five rupees. Please give me."

The millionaire was taken aback at this man's impudence. "What! You demand five rupees from me as though I owe you the money! How dare you? How can I afford to give five rupees to a single beggar? Here, take these two rupees and get away," he said.

The man went away with the two rupees.

The next beggar went to the millionaire and said: "Oh Lord! I have not taken a square meal for the past ten days. Please help me."

"How much do you want?" asked the millionaire.

"Whatever you give me, Maharaj," replied the beggar.

"Here, take this ten rupee note. You can have nice food for at least three days." The beggar walked away with the ten rupee note.

The third beggar came. "Oh Lord, I have heard about your noble qualities. Therefore, I have come to see you. Men of such charitable disposition are verily the manifestations of God on earth," he said.

"Please sit down," said the millionaire. "You appear to be tired. Please take this food," he said, and offered food to the beggar.

"Now please tell me what I can do for you."

"Oh Lord," replied the beggar; "I merely came to meet such a noble personage that you are. You have given me this rich food already. What more need I get from you? You have already shown extraordinary kindness towards me. May God bless you!"

But the millionaire, struck by the beggar's spirit, begged of the beggar to remain with him, built a decent house for him in his own compound, and looked after him for the rest of his life.

Humanity have three are three classes of beggars, with three different desires. There is the greedy man full of vanity, full of arrogance, full of desires. He demands the objects of enjoyment.

The first is the greedy man full of vanity, full of arrogance, full of desires. He demands the objects of enjoyment. He was granted the desired object but would soon have to beg again.

The second class asked for relief from the sufferings. To him he was granted much more relief.

The third type merely prays to the Lord. The Lord is highly pleased with his spirit of renunciation, of his lack of desire. Therefore, he was granted over and above the others.

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Story: Microsoft Car Operating System

Bill's company made software to run a car.

Bill was taking a test ride of the car. Suddenly a truck came from opposite side.

Bill pressed ctrl+b to apply brakes.

A pop-up window appeared asking, "Are you sure you really want to stop?"

Before Bill could enter "Yes", there was a crash and the car caught fire.

In panic Bill forgot the password to open the door.

He started shouting "F1! F1!" but there was no computer professional present there to understand his screams.

Then he tried to come out through the car window-pane.

A message appeared on the screen, "An illegal function is performed.

All the window-panes of the car will be closed." Poor Bill died.

Messengers of death took away his soul and said to him, "You have never ever performed any good deeds in your life. You always stole the code from others. We are going to send you to hell."

Bill pleaded, "I am ready to go to hell but do provide me a computer, please."

Messengers of death smiled inwardly and permitted him a computer, but with no Alt, Ctrl and Delete keys on the keyboard.

Story: Horse named Jenny

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him on the head with a frying pan.

'What was that for?' the man asked.

The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket'.

The man then said 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on'

The wife apologized and went on with the housework.

Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.

Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.

Wife replied. 'Your horse phoned'

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Story by: "Too-Much-Coffee"
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