If you can't stop Booze

If you are a married man who absolutely must drink wine, start a saloon in your own home.

Be its only customer, and you won't have to buy a license. You don't have to worry about drunk driving, summonses and accidents.

Give your wife $20 to buy a bottle of wine; there are 12 pecks to the bottle;

buy your drinks from your wife at the present price per drink, $10.

When the first bottle is gone, your wife will have $120 to put in the bank and will use another $20 to start in business again.

If you will live two more years, continue to buy all your wine from your wife, and then die with snakes in your boots, your widow will have enough to bury you decently, bring up your children, marry a decent man and forget all about you.

Source: Adapted from Western Voice