Wednesday, October 25, 2006

If Nervous, Sip Vodka, Not Gulp!

I truly love this joke from BayiSingh. It's so constipatingly hilarious....

Story: The Priest and His Vodka!

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.

After the mass, he asked the monsignor how he had done.

The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous, on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

So next Sunday, he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.

He proceeded to talk up a storm.

Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:

1. Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciplines, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the "late JC".
7. The Father, Son and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T".
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper, he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say, "Eat me."
12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry".
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peters not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

Tell me, do you like it? Hi Christians, I am Christian too... but the Bible didn't say Christian can't joke, ok!!!


Chung & Agatha said...

We like it very much, Dr.

Maverick SM said...

Thanks Chung & Agatha. It's your first comment made. I so happy!

::Lord Apprentice:: said...

hahaha...damn funny, though as a christian i should slay your ass. hahah

Maverick SM said...

Thanks Lord Apprentice. Are you the Apprentice from Donald Trump winning team?LOL!!!

lucia said...

this is one of the earliest joke i came across when i first got on the net 5 years ago. yes, it's that old... though an old joke, each time i hear/read it, it never fail to made me laugh.

of course christians can joke. in fact i have lots of christian jokes. one particular one is quite good but i don't want to put it up in my blog... perhaps i can send it to you to put up in your blog?

Maverick SM said...

Ya Lucia, sent them to me. Blogging jokes is less stressful.