While I was driving today, I received an sms from my son. He wrote: "dad, take care. I will take care of the family. Lately I'm over stressed but I can manage it."
How sweet of my son. As I kept driving, the memories of the early days of my life dawned on me. Since that day I graduated and started my career life and development, I hardly had spent much time with my children and family. The responsibility was entirely left to their mother who did an excellent job by bringing them up and molding them to be independent, disciplined and "good boys and girl". It was painful to recall these memories. Though I provided the financial support for the family, but it dawned on me that I had failed miserably to offer them time and support which the children deserves. I am truly sorry and no words can justify the lackness.
How sweet of my son. As I kept driving, the memories of the early days of my life dawned on me. Since that day I graduated and started my career life and development, I hardly had spent much time with my children and family. The responsibility was entirely left to their mother who did an excellent job by bringing them up and molding them to be independent, disciplined and "good boys and girl". It was painful to recall these memories. Though I provided the financial support for the family, but it dawned on me that I had failed miserably to offer them time and support which the children deserves. I am truly sorry and no words can justify the lackness.
Each time I thought about this, the song 'Cats in the Cradle' always haunt on me. Cat's in the Cradle is a folk rock song by American singer & songwriter Harry Chapin which appeared on his 1974 album Verities & Balderdash. It was written by Harry's wife Sandy, a poet and writer. After his son, Joshua's birth, Harry realized just how much the song meant to him and he began to record it.
As I listen to the lyrics, emotion takes over the other senses and drains the eyes till it gets extremely wet. That affected the sights and made it difficult to drive. Fortunately, the tissues are on the dashboard. Each and every time I listen to that song, it always sorrow and sorriness. Nothing be expressed in words. I just hope that it was just a song.Below are part of the lyrics:
A child arrived just the other day,
He came to the world in the usual way.
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay.
He learned to walk while I was away.
And he was talking 'fore I knew it, and as he grew,
He'd say, "I'm gonna be like you, dad.
You know I'm gonna be like you."
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then.
You know we'll have a good time then."
My son turned ten just the other day.
He said, "Thanks for the ball, dad, come on let's play.
Can you teach me to throw?" I said, "Not today,
I got a lot to do." He said, "That's ok."
And he walked away, but his smile never dimmed,
Said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah.
You know I'm gonna be like him."
I've long since retired and my son's moved away.
I called him up just the other day.
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind."
He said, "I'd love to, dad, if I could find the time.
You see, my new job's a hassle, and the kid's got the flu,
But it's sure nice talking to you, dad.
It's been sure nice talking to you."
And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me,
He'd grown up just like me.
My boy was just like me.
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then, dad.
You know we'll have a good time then."
It dawned on me too, that my boys had grown up just like me; they were just like me.
Life needs to go on, and we need to go on, too. Tomorrow will be just another day.
14 comments:
I've not heard this song before until I clicked on your youtube.
It's beautiful. :-)
No, the song did not bring tears to my eyes. Your post did. :-)
Psst, are you thinking of retiring?
Thanks Helen for sharing the emotional insights.
Ya, I am thinking of retiring. My new phobia - loneliness???
well your kid done you proud, right?
so, guess you did a pretty good job ain't it - that kid must be proud of you too.
cheers man, its oktoberfest...
& raya is 'round the corner, deepavali is right after, then x'mas... then new year... & finally cny.
heck, time of the year to count one's blessings not burdens... time to deck up & deck the hall.
hi brudder mave:
half retire -- the other half write books lah, I'll be your EDITher!:) I see hellen s-MILE-ing from miles away:)
Remember seya on Oct 10 at around 6pm at PJ Club eh--helen and johnyboy joining us?
That is a real emotional post lah...pass me a tissue please....
Reading your post makes me reflect on my life as a mother too...
A well written post indeed!
X'tina, I love your starting line... it's empathy!
Desi, I can't write poem??? So how?
Mav,
Money cannot buy time. It's time for you to spend more time with them. Better late than never.
donkey
Dear Maverick,
WE work hard out of economic necessity, don't you think? For instance, I once had a colleague who worked very, hard. He takes all the overtime (for the money), sleeps little because he has taken on another job. And he's doing all this so's his 3 kids could have nice things, clothes, hols, etc.
There must be some point in a father's labour, and this was his. The best for his kids.
Dear so many Anonymous,
I like to address you and thank you.
Thanks, Donkey. I know money can't buy time; paradoxically, time is needed to earn money, for without time being spent for services, no one will pay me and, without money, there is a lack of necessity. However, it's a paradox and unless we can have enough, we just can't give good life for everyone we love.
The Other Anon,
You are right to say we work to earn money for economic necessity. With the government bend on wasting taxpayers money on scamish projects and sending moon to our people, we need to earn more to help the government pay for all the foolishness. However, please bear with it as we, the Malaysian, had decided that this is the type of government we need. As such, with the theory of Utilitarianism, we have to follow the majority's wish.
hi dad, just read thru your blog, a bit tired today after work, yeah, although we seldom seen each other but the heart was there. you did a great job and time for me to stand up and step up to care for the family. it was an emotional msg and song. in life, i will only have 1 natural mom and father and i proud to be your eldest son. You are right, life need to go on, money will not drop from the skies. you have done your very best and reponsible to the family, i will never let my PhD's father down for whatsoever reasons.you set the benchmark high enough and a challenge for us to breakthrough. thats good for us, it gives us direction and aims. Life is tough and we cant change it, the world not gonna stop the clock and wait for us, we gonna run faster and smarter and never ever regret.
the world is waiting for us to explore, don't hold back. Life is beautiful.
Your son really makes you proud. I like this song too! Cheers!
Thanks William, you surely made me proud. I love you.
I so enjoy such personal postings from u, Mave. There's always something to learn from people who have been there and done that, esp. to us who are searching for the right path right now.
Anak Merdeka,
Thanks for being empathetic.
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