Friday, May 15, 2009

Story: Marital Bliss

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, “What’s on TV?”
I said, “Dust.”
And then the fight started...

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, “I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.”
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...
So, I took her to a petrol pump.
And then the fight started...

After retiring, I booked train tickets in senior citizen’s quota.
The TT asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
The TT said, “That silver hair on your head is proof enough for me” and allowed me to travel.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience.
She said, “You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.”
And then the fight started...

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, “Do you know her?”
“Yes,” I sighed, “She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.”
“My God!” says my wife, “who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”
And then the fight started...

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
“I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.”
He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”
Nah, she can order for herself.”
And then the fight started...

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.”
The husband replies, “Your eyesight”s damn near perfect.”
And then the fight started.....

I tried to talk my wife into buying a whisky bottle for 500.
Instead, she bought a hair dye for 450.
I told her the whisky would make her look better at night than the hair dye.
And then the fight started....

My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big.
I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday and then the fight started.....

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.
Suddenly, at 3 o”clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.
The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man “Holy crap. That must be my husband!”
So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window.
He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, “I am your husband!”
The woman yelled back, “Yeah, then why were you running?”
And then the fight started.....

I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our anniversary?”
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
“Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said.
So I suggested, “How about the kitchen?”
And that’s when the fight started....


Story from: BayiSingh



Anonymous said...

Very Funny and I just love it!

Sounds like Hee and Najis huh - H1N1 virus yeah!!!


Jefus said...

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question?....What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer.

But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant! creature in all his life.

He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.

He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:

What a woman really wants, she to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.

And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded
Lancelot asked what had happened.

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.

Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night?

Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?

What would YOU do?

What Lancelot chose is below...

Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

Now ....what is the moral to this story?

The moral is.....
If you don't let a woman have her own way....
Things are going to get ugly!

Anonymous said...


Agree with Jefus; good example Hee-Haw....!!!

La Cha Mau said...

The moral of the story is: Stupidity.

1: If one is given one year to roam around freely to find the answer,one will definitely cabut from England to live in a remote hideout in Brickfields.

2: Haven't you heard that Sir Lancelot and Arthur were gay partners and had no use for the witch be it day or night.

3: Wrong. What a woman in Malaysia wants is to be the country's "First Lady" and to be in charge of her husband including at the workplace where she can chair meetings and make power decisions while her husband take minutes and serve coffee.

WOMAN! said...

Wahahahah!!! What women really want is...


This.. by the way, is a very good example of men trying to guess what women wants..

Primrose said...

I've read this earlier. Indeed funny. :) Good to catch up today... :)

June.W said...

its is indeed what women want is the freedom to be in-charge of her own life... but most of the time women are so confused about this and let men in-charge of their life...end up...stay at home and have no own circle of life...great sharing...

Maverick SM said...


Hi, and hope you enjoy it.


Thanks for the great tale.

La Cha Mau,

You have good point. Just treat this as a story.


You are right; men are often idiotic when the head without brains thinks and the head with brains is override.


You think it's funny? hehehehe!

June. W,

I agree! That's the same with men - what they want and what they get are contrary too.

Anonymous said...

'BUAT KERJA !' woman wants her man .