Monday, August 03, 2009

BayiSingh:: Philosophical Wife

First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'
James Holt McGavra

'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'
Sam Kinison

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Sacha Guitry

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Patrick Murra

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher..

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
David Bissonette


Provider: BayiSingh



Anonymous said...

Marriage is the ceremony of the groom putting a ring through the bride's finger and the bride putting a ring through the groom's nose

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Marriage is the ceremony of the groom putting a ring through the bride's finger and the bride putting a ring through the groom's nose

August 03, 2009 8:03 PM

yeap, i like this comment. BIJAN is the best example of all time.

Anonymous said...

Everytime we tell the truth the wife don't believe us. So tell her lies. It works for me.

Jefus said...

Who's the Boss?

When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise , God appeared and said, "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men who were true heads of their household, and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women. I want all the women to report to St.Peter."

Soon, the women were gone, and there were two lines of men.

The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was 100 miles long, and in the line of men who truly were heads of their household, there was only one man.

God said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves, I created you to be the head of your household! You have been disobedient and have not fulfilled your purpose! Of all of you, only one obeyed. Learn from him."

God turned to the one man, "How did you manage to be the only one in this line?"

The man replied, "My wife told me to stand here."

artchan said...

Son: How much does it costs to get married?

Father: I don't know.

Son: Huh?????

Father: I am still paying for it.

Anonymous said...

Lebanese proverb:

A old man marrying a young 2nd wife will soon go bald because the old 1st wife will be busy pulling out his black hair, while the young 2nd wife will be busy pulling out his white hair.

sinkeh said...

A Chinese proverb says, "Foolish man gives wife Grand Piano, Wise man gives wife Upright Organ."

Now, ain't that the truth and nothing but the truth?


Lao Fu Tze said...

Just to join in the fun:

Lagi ancient Chinese proverb says,

"Wife who puts husband in doghouse soon finds him in cathouse!"

Now, this is a real Confucian (NOT confusion) saying!

Anonymous said...

A man was complaining to a friend: "I had it all - money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman - and then, BAM!, it was all gone!"
"What happened?" asked his friend. "My wife found out..."

Honey! said...

A wife was making fried eggs for her husband for breakfast. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful... Careful!!! Put in some more butter! Oh my God! You're cooking too many at once. Too many! Turn them! Turn them now! We need more butter. Oh my God! Where are we going to get more butter? They're going to stick! Careful... Careful!!! I said be careful! You never listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. Use the salt! The salt!"

The wife stared at him and asked, "What the heck is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving with you in the car."

bayi said...

Jokes aplenty!!!!

Here's another one:

There were three guys talking in the pub.

Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet.

After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, "Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?".

The third fellow says "I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees."

The first two guys were amazed. "What happened then?" they asked.

He replied, "She said, 'get out from under the bed and fight like a man'."

bayi said...


Looks like the world is full of philosophical husbands, judging from the number of jokes and comments. Hehehehe...

artchan said...

anon 916pm...

Najib is spelt N A J I B.....not bijan.

ok..najib and bijan must be the same person.

The Najib i know is also led by the nose.

Jefus said...

is the time ripe to establish emotionally battered husbands aid society? :))))))

Anonymous said...

this whats happened to First Lady When Olde...

Defense Attorney: What is your age?
Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old.

Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?
Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney: Did you know him?
Little Old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?
Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?
Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Woman: He began to rub my breasts..... ..

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Little Old Woman: No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just spread my old legs and said to him......"Take me.... Young man... Take me!"

Defense Attorney: Did he take you?
Little Old Woman: Hell, no. He just yelled, "April Fool!!"...And that's when I shot the son of a bitch!

bayi said...

Wives are young men's mistresses; companions for middle age; and old men's nurses.

Francis Bacon

Source: Of Marriage and Single Life

Stiff One said...

A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary.

The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'."

"Yeah," she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone reads: 'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"

Anonymous said...

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."

The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

Isabella said...

'A woman is like a guitar: in order for her to warm up you have to strum/stroke her'

Musician's proverb

Anonymous said...

Two women in a house,
Two cats and a mouse,
Two dogs and a bone,
Will never accord in one.

Thiselton-Dyer, 1906

June.W said...

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

Well, it's the same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving

Anonymous said...

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"
"Sixteen," the boy responded.
His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?"
"Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"

Anonymous said...

* In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
* In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
* In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

Anonymous said...

'The person who marries a beauty marries trouble, because she claims to be related to everybody.'

necessary evil said...

Women are necessary evils.

Whiting, 1977.

Maverick SM said...

Hi buddies,

All of you did have nice things to add. hehehehe!!!

bayi said...

Hey Mave,

What are your thoughts on this subject? Do share with us!

Maverick SM said...


My thoughts? I think I agree with all the statements ...hehehehe

Jefus said...

Anonymous said...

from the bible : it's better to sleep on top of the roof if you have a nagging wife ! AMEN .