Stupid Q with Smart As

Let have some more fun ...


GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"

Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".

Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".

My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.

Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".

Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".

Quotations:

"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me."
- Erno Philips

"We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up."
- Phyllis Diller

"Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison."
- Tim Allen

"If you never want to see a man again, say, 'I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children...' - they leave skid marks."
- Rita Rudner

"In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out."
- Joey Adams

"I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me. " - Henry Youngman


Source: The Sikhs of London