Bayi's Jokes!

This is not about Bengali's jokes. It is from the cyberpal who uses the moniker Bayi. Thanks Bayi for sending me the jokes and I am sharing it here with all others.

Child Custody

A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem.

The mother leaped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.

The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his justification.

After a long silence, the man slowly rose from his chair and replied...

"Your Honor, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or the machine?"

Baby Camel's Questions

A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks:
"Mom why have I got these huge three toed feet?"

The mother replies: "Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand".

"OK" said the son. A few minutes later the son asks:
"Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?"

"They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert."
"Thanks Mom" replies the son.

After a short while, the son returns and asks:
"Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back??"

The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies:
"They are there to help us store water for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without drinking for long periods."

"That's great mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and these humps to store water.

But Mom", "Yes son?"

"Why the heck are we in the San Diego Zoo?"


How the Government Works

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of London.

The Cabinet discussed: "Someone may steal from it at night."

So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job.

Then Cabinet meet again: "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?"

So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies.

Then Cabinet further discussed: "How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?"

So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports.

Then again Cabinet discussed: "How are these people going to get paid?"

So they created the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll officer, then hired two people.

Then Cabinet discussed again: "Who will be accountable for all of these people?"

So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary.

Then finally, Cabinet had to review: "We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18 million over budget, we must cutback overall cost."

So they offered the night watchman VSS and retrenched him.

Then, the Cabinet discussed again ...

because it's the new 9MP!


SKEPTICS

A new miracle doctor was in town. He could cure anything and anybody, and everyone was amazed with what he can do.

Everyone except for Mr. Smith, the town grouch. So Mr.Smith went to this 'miracle doctor' to prove that he wasn't anybody special. So he goes and tells the doctor, "Hey, doc, I have lost my sense of taste. I can't taste nothin', so what are ya goin to do?"

The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little, then tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43."

Jar number 43? Mr. Smith wonders. So the doctor brings the jar and tells Mr. Smith to taste it. He tastes it and immediately spits it out, "This is rubbish!" he yells.

"I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Smith," says the doctor.

So Mr.Smith goes home very mad.

One month later, Mr. Smith goes back to the doctor along with a new problem, "Doc," he starts, "I can't remember!"

Thinking he got the doctor, the doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little and tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43... "

Before the doctor finished his sentence, Mr. Smith fled the town.