Dear Dogs,I have good news for you. You can all now come back home to Selayang. The tsunami is over. The council was Toyoed. See Hang decides. Don't get me wrong; it's not toilet help...it's Mr Tang See Hang the State Exco member who announced that the competition to arrest your brothers would be canceled.
I surely hope those gangsters who had caught your brothers and sisters would now released them as there is no more reward or price money. We human are greedy. We do not care whether right or wrong as long as we get paid for doing things, even if it is inhumane.
I surely hope those gangsters who had caught your brothers and sisters would now released them as there is no more reward or price money. We human are greedy. We do not care whether right or wrong as long as we get paid for doing things, even if it is inhumane.
However, I want you to tell all your doggy brothers and sisters that the See Hang also announced that they are going to install microchips on your body in order to track you down and identify your master should you dogs be caught roaming. So, please inform your doggies not to simply roam around town or villages. You must now behave and stay in door.
Should you decide to go out for a short walk or to visit your girlfriends or boyfriends, please make sure that your master accompanies you for the short trip. Oh, lest I forget, please remember to bring along your birth certificate in case Jakim or JAWI Snoop Squat may interrogate you or charge you for khalwat.
Dear Dogs, I do understand that you all have not got your MyKad yet. I believe the Prime Minister and his Dog-Ministers would be proposing to issue you the MyKad soon so that you all can participate in the coming general election. However, I must warn you that politics are not meant for dogs. For your own safety and the security of your species, please advice your brethren not to vote for DAP or PAS or KeAdiLan. You need to vote BN as they are the only people who can protect you or to grant you any reprieve or amnesty. You have to be practical and realism is the only philosophy you can practice.
As for your concern about job opportunities and unemployment issues amongst your species, please bear with us as our graduates are also finding it difficult to get employed. In fact the government is considering to include some form of social security benefits for your species and would also consider offering study loans and scholarships for your species to attend university courses specially design to provide you with skill training. By the way and for your information, CIDB is proposing to the government to certify the dogs and classify your species as professionals and non-professionals. You will then be issued with Greed Cards so that you could apply for jobs easily. That note that this classification is not the same as bloggers as you do not blog. Your classification is to ensure that CIDB are able to collect some form of fees so that they could organize courses for you. The courses are numerous and it is likely to be integrated into a single course which they called Inter-Course Module.
Should you need more information, please contact Mr See Hang or the Selayang Council President Mr Zainal. If you have communication problem or the lack of connection, you can call on Mr Rasheed Sultan Afshur or Surendran (rep of Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals & Malaysian Animals Rights and Welfare Society) or Anthony Thanasayan (of Pet-Positive) or Dr John Satyamoorthy (from Malaysian Association for Responsible Pet Ownership).
P/S: Dear Doggies, please do not disturb Mr Khairy as he is now a new father and had to spent time to take care of his son. To improve your public relationship and connection, you could sent him a congratulatory message and please be reminded not to ask him whether his son looks like him.
Dear Dogs, I do understand that you all have not got your MyKad yet. I believe the Prime Minister and his Dog-Ministers would be proposing to issue you the MyKad soon so that you all can participate in the coming general election. However, I must warn you that politics are not meant for dogs. For your own safety and the security of your species, please advice your brethren not to vote for DAP or PAS or KeAdiLan. You need to vote BN as they are the only people who can protect you or to grant you any reprieve or amnesty. You have to be practical and realism is the only philosophy you can practice.
As for your concern about job opportunities and unemployment issues amongst your species, please bear with us as our graduates are also finding it difficult to get employed. In fact the government is considering to include some form of social security benefits for your species and would also consider offering study loans and scholarships for your species to attend university courses specially design to provide you with skill training. By the way and for your information, CIDB is proposing to the government to certify the dogs and classify your species as professionals and non-professionals. You will then be issued with Greed Cards so that you could apply for jobs easily. That note that this classification is not the same as bloggers as you do not blog. Your classification is to ensure that CIDB are able to collect some form of fees so that they could organize courses for you. The courses are numerous and it is likely to be integrated into a single course which they called Inter-Course Module.
Should you need more information, please contact Mr See Hang or the Selayang Council President Mr Zainal. If you have communication problem or the lack of connection, you can call on Mr Rasheed Sultan Afshur or Surendran (rep of Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals & Malaysian Animals Rights and Welfare Society) or Anthony Thanasayan (of Pet-Positive) or Dr John Satyamoorthy (from Malaysian Association for Responsible Pet Ownership).
P/S: Dear Doggies, please do not disturb Mr Khairy as he is now a new father and had to spent time to take care of his son. To improve your public relationship and connection, you could sent him a congratulatory message and please be reminded not to ask him whether his son looks like him.
8 comments:
hahaha good piece!
As a dog person, I've been trying to avoid reading about the recent plight of my 4 legged friends. Cannot tahan anymore bad news..
I am not very much a dog person but you don't need to be one to see that what MPS was doing was very wrong. Your conscience will tell you that. But there are people with a little bit of vest power, only a little, who would abuse that little power to create misery for other lives. Apparently their conscience has gone to the dogs. Pun intended, of course!
Our well-fed pigs over in Malacca and stray dogs over in Selayang are so much luckier than those Malaysians involved in the Pantai Batu Buruk incident. Looks like pigs and dogs here in Malaysia have friends in high places!
Dear Dogs, one more thing. Please put on your condoms before the act. This is to stop the profileration of stray, unwanted puppies. To get the condoms, write in or email our great PM. Oops, do you know how to email?
Is this the same Tang guy where an ordinary old folk in Rawang has to kneel before him for a favour?
I wonder.. how can some insane person came up with such stooopid idea in the first place? Brainless morons!
As stressful as it was to hear abt the dog competition, i'm now all in laughter reading your post address to dear dogs.....you wrote it so well!
hei can i hijack your posting?..........hahahahah kidding!
KAR!Kar!Kar! you are funny Mav.,
Good article and as a dog person, it was really a stressful time. We even took our visiting relatives from Perth Australia ( also as tourists) to Selayang. They were ALL pissed off and we are very sure that their impressions of our stoopid officials are not very encouraging.
"How did these blokes got elected to their high positions anyway?" ...they asked. Elected? Duh! More like selected!
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