A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed to a lawyer's office and tells the lawyer to prepare a divorce.
Lawyer: Have you any grounds for divorce?
Polish man: Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.
Lawyer: No. I mean, what is the foundation of this case?
Polish man.: It is made of concrete.
Lawyer: I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
Polish man: Garage? No, we have carport, and not need one.
Lawyer: I mean, what are your relations like?
Polish man: All my relations still in Poland.
Lawyer: Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
Polish man: We have hi-fidelity and good DVD player.
Lawyer: Does your wife beat you up?
Polish man: No, I always up before her.
Lawyer: Is your wife a nagger?
Polish man: No, she white.
Lawyer: Why do you want this divorce?
Polish man: She going to kill me!
Lawyer: What makes you think that?
Polish man: I got proof.
Lawyer: What kind of proof?
Polish man: She going to poison me. She buys a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it says: “Polish Remover”.
4 comments:
HAHAH!!!
A little touchy too, especially since I have quite a number of close Polish friends.
And believe it or not, I myself sometimes encounter conversations like this over here!
hahahahaha
great one mave.
A well polished story, excellent.
A very good reason to introduce
'Europa English'
This is how it will work.
The European Commission will announce an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".
Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".
This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.
Ze drem vil finali kum tru!
Zen vot vill ve hav?
Aleckii,
Asked your Polish friends to be careful of the "Remover".
CK,
Thank you for the motivation.
Mindful Mariner,
I have published your Europa English.
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