Game of Swinging: A New Trend in KL

NST report Want a Game of Swinging, My Dear?

There is a new trend in town. And most may frown upon it, but many are practising it in secret.

AUDREY VIJAINDREN chats with couples who have chosen to lead a swinging lifestyle by swapping partners, despite the risk to marriage, health and reputation.

They enjoy successful careers, have good marriages and are caring parents. But a few times a month these couples swap partners with other married couples for sexual gratification.

They are known as swingers.

Most are professionals in their 30s, hoping to spice up their marriages and quench their sexual curiosity.

They swear this "open" concept strengthens their marriages by suppressing any need to cheat.

Over the past year, more and more swinging groups have sprouted up. Their aim is to persuade other married couples to join this "secret" society.

The more experienced and adventurous swingers get addicted to swing parties held in five-star hotels with up to 10 couples.

George and his wife Tina (not their real names) have been swinging for six years and say the experience has done wonders for their marriage.

"People may wonder why we do it. Why not? Isn't it better than cheating on your spouse and lying? We have an open and honest relationship. Most non-swingers don't have that," he said.

The couple entertain other swingers in their home at least three times a month.

The friendship formed with the other couples, they say, is not just about physical attraction.

"It is not just about sex. Swinging is a great way to make new friends. Some of our closest friends are the ones we met at swinging parties."

The couple sometimes go on holiday with other swingers. They share the same bedroom and swap partners for meals and sightseeing.

But, don't they get jealous?

"Not at all. We have already set our minds so we will not get jealous. In fact it is a turn-on to watch Tina with someone else.

" It is purely physical satisfaction with no emotional feelings involved. In the end, you go home with your spouse. And that's what counts," George said.

The couple has only one rule when swinging --- always use protection. "We have multiple sex partners a month, of course there is a fear of contracting a disease. But we always practise safe sex.

"We do regular blood tests and so far, we have tested negative for sexually transmitted diseases," he said.

New Sunday Times contacted the host of one of the biggest swingers group in the country. "This is a discreet community, and as you know in Malaysia we cannot openly talk about this. Although these activities have been happening for a long time here and in many other countries, we are very cautious and afraid that the authorities will take action against us," Chong (not his real name) said.

Most of the members, he said, are either successful business people or prominent corporate figures who place great importance in keeping their swinging activities a secret.

He said people join swinging groups by invitation from other members or by paying a monthly fee of RM150. The owner of the group, or host, is the only one who can approve a membership.

"Upon joining, you will receive an email asking for personal details. You must include your phone number and attach a current picture of you and your partner."

He said charges per session vary according to the hotel and number of people.

"We share the cost of the hotel room. It is usually between RM50 and RM70 per couple. We try to meet at least once a month. Some members organise private meetings, without the knowledge of the club, where they invite selected couples."

Chong said occasionally they had last minute parties. This usually happened when there was a foreign couple visiting Malaysia with a request to meet swingers.

The members, he said, are in their 20s to late 40s. "Most of the women are in their 20s, and the men in their late 30s or early 40s. We only have a handful of members in their 50s."

He said there is usually a minimum of four couples per session. But they have had up to 10 couples at a party.

"Swingers prefer more couples, the more the merrier. You have more choices to swap and watch."

He said first timers do not need to swap partners until they are ready. But being naked is a requirement.

"The majority of first timers are hesitant to swap partners in the beginning. But as the party goes late into the night, they get more and more comfortable."

Safety of female members, Chong said, is assured. "There is one house rule which is final. When a lady says 'no' to a guy or couple, it means 'no'."

Karen met fellow chatter, Matt (not his real name), when she was chatting in an online group for Kuala Lumpur residents called, "KLights".

It was during one of their "chats" that he told her about his interest in joining a local swinging group.

"We went to the swingers meeting pretending to be husband and wife. We never intended to take part in any sexual activity."

"We were told to gather at a fancy restaurant in Kuala Lumpur. The agenda was to have dinner and then adjourn to the host's house.

"He had made reservations at the restaurant for 10 people. Matt and I told the host we were newly weds, looking for some adventure.

"At the dinner we chatted freely with other members of the group. We discussed everything, except sex.

"Everyone seemed a little nervous. The host told us that the dinner was also a form of vetting to make sure there was no rapist or 'strange' person wanting to join."

When dinner was over they adjourned to the host's house.

"The host lived in a mansion with many rooms. For the first couple of hours we all hung out by the pool, drinking wine and eating cheese. Then he handed us a piece of paper to list the people we would most want to have sex with, in order of most to least."

Karen said the host and his wife then paired the couples together according to their list. After that we were sent to individual rooms with the person of our choice.

"Although Matt and I were hesitant to have any physical contact with other people, we eventually warmed up to the other members. It didn't feel as awkward as I had thought it might be."

Matt and Karen continued swinging for a few more years before calling it quits.

Read more here and here

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This all in KL? Hi KLites, you in it?