Sunday, July 13, 2008

Game of Swinging: A New Trend in KL

NST report Want a Game of Swinging, My Dear?

There is a new trend in town. And most may frown upon it, but many are practising it in secret.

AUDREY VIJAINDREN chats with couples who have chosen to lead a swinging lifestyle by swapping partners, despite the risk to marriage, health and reputation.

They enjoy successful careers, have good marriages and are caring parents. But a few times a month these couples swap partners with other married couples for sexual gratification.

They are known as swingers.

Most are professionals in their 30s, hoping to spice up their marriages and quench their sexual curiosity.

They swear this "open" concept strengthens their marriages by suppressing any need to cheat.

Over the past year, more and more swinging groups have sprouted up. Their aim is to persuade other married couples to join this "secret" society.

The more experienced and adventurous swingers get addicted to swing parties held in five-star hotels with up to 10 couples.

George and his wife Tina (not their real names) have been swinging for six years and say the experience has done wonders for their marriage.

"People may wonder why we do it. Why not? Isn't it better than cheating on your spouse and lying? We have an open and honest relationship. Most non-swingers don't have that," he said.

The couple entertain other swingers in their home at least three times a month.

The friendship formed with the other couples, they say, is not just about physical attraction.

"It is not just about sex. Swinging is a great way to make new friends. Some of our closest friends are the ones we met at swinging parties."

The couple sometimes go on holiday with other swingers. They share the same bedroom and swap partners for meals and sightseeing.

But, don't they get jealous?

"Not at all. We have already set our minds so we will not get jealous. In fact it is a turn-on to watch Tina with someone else.

" It is purely physical satisfaction with no emotional feelings involved. In the end, you go home with your spouse. And that's what counts," George said.

The couple has only one rule when swinging --- always use protection. "We have multiple sex partners a month, of course there is a fear of contracting a disease. But we always practise safe sex.

"We do regular blood tests and so far, we have tested negative for sexually transmitted diseases," he said.

New Sunday Times contacted the host of one of the biggest swingers group in the country. "This is a discreet community, and as you know in Malaysia we cannot openly talk about this. Although these activities have been happening for a long time here and in many other countries, we are very cautious and afraid that the authorities will take action against us," Chong (not his real name) said.

Most of the members, he said, are either successful business people or prominent corporate figures who place great importance in keeping their swinging activities a secret.

He said people join swinging groups by invitation from other members or by paying a monthly fee of RM150. The owner of the group, or host, is the only one who can approve a membership.

"Upon joining, you will receive an email asking for personal details. You must include your phone number and attach a current picture of you and your partner."

He said charges per session vary according to the hotel and number of people.

"We share the cost of the hotel room. It is usually between RM50 and RM70 per couple. We try to meet at least once a month. Some members organise private meetings, without the knowledge of the club, where they invite selected couples."

Chong said occasionally they had last minute parties. This usually happened when there was a foreign couple visiting Malaysia with a request to meet swingers.

The members, he said, are in their 20s to late 40s. "Most of the women are in their 20s, and the men in their late 30s or early 40s. We only have a handful of members in their 50s."

He said there is usually a minimum of four couples per session. But they have had up to 10 couples at a party.

"Swingers prefer more couples, the more the merrier. You have more choices to swap and watch."

He said first timers do not need to swap partners until they are ready. But being naked is a requirement.

"The majority of first timers are hesitant to swap partners in the beginning. But as the party goes late into the night, they get more and more comfortable."

Safety of female members, Chong said, is assured. "There is one house rule which is final. When a lady says 'no' to a guy or couple, it means 'no'."

Karen met fellow chatter, Matt (not his real name), when she was chatting in an online group for Kuala Lumpur residents called, "KLights".

It was during one of their "chats" that he told her about his interest in joining a local swinging group.

"We went to the swingers meeting pretending to be husband and wife. We never intended to take part in any sexual activity."

"We were told to gather at a fancy restaurant in Kuala Lumpur. The agenda was to have dinner and then adjourn to the host's house.

"He had made reservations at the restaurant for 10 people. Matt and I told the host we were newly weds, looking for some adventure.

"At the dinner we chatted freely with other members of the group. We discussed everything, except sex.

"Everyone seemed a little nervous. The host told us that the dinner was also a form of vetting to make sure there was no rapist or 'strange' person wanting to join."

When dinner was over they adjourned to the host's house.

"The host lived in a mansion with many rooms. For the first couple of hours we all hung out by the pool, drinking wine and eating cheese. Then he handed us a piece of paper to list the people we would most want to have sex with, in order of most to least."

Karen said the host and his wife then paired the couples together according to their list. After that we were sent to individual rooms with the person of our choice.

"Although Matt and I were hesitant to have any physical contact with other people, we eventually warmed up to the other members. It didn't feel as awkward as I had thought it might be."

Matt and Karen continued swinging for a few more years before calling it quits.

Read more here and here

***

This all in KL? Hi KLites, you in it?

32 comments:

Anonymous said...

my dog likes swinging too!

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

I'm impressed. In KL, really? I always thought that this only happens overseas.

Anonymous said...

NST just "discover" this?

Anonymous said...

mave,

A bunch of HIV positive prostitutes and gigolos spreading the disease. The BNatang Orangutan like swinging on trees and ropes too.

AIDSCOLONY

Anonymous said...

Wooo.. I only thought that monkeys swing from trees to trees. Very sad as some humans acting like animals.

Unknown said...

u r what u eat...
eat chichken, u defend ur honor and spouse. One cock for one hen
eat pork, that animal share each others...

Jefus said...

share the cost of the hotel room RM 50- 70 per couple? once a month?

my, my,......

do they give extra towels?

wow!

Anonymous said...

Terang Bulan,

chicken don't share partners? and all the cows and goats comes from the same father with the same mother cow?

it little bit absurb, and stupid it it? pls tune in to some national geographics channel.

we don't know what you have been eating, for you to make such statement like - "u r what u eat..."

but i honestly don't want to know.

Maverick SM said...

Constant Drama,

Well, KLites has caught up with the global trend.

Moo_t,

Maybe, but it could be that they are publishing it right now though they had the story sometime ago.

Aidscolony,

Maybe, you have not had a chance to observe it empirically.

Moo,

Is that being animal? But animals don't do hard to others unless being attacked? You may not understand it and neither do I.

Terang Bulan,

Does eating chicken means you have honour? I thought all those rapists and murderers eat chicken too; and many who eat pork don't do such despicable acts?

Jefus,

No towels; you have to bring your own towels and condoms.

Purple~MushRooM said...

I know this group, and one of my friend is a member. He is a successful, young, married with a beautiful wife. I am surprised his wife is willing to join this game.
He has tried to persuade me and another friend to join as well.
But hell no way am I going to do that!! I think they are pin tai!

Maverick SM said...

Purple~Mushroom,

Only those with beautiful wife are invited to be members. Ya, pin tai type but then what's life?

lucia said...

sex has become their hobby, that's why they are into swinging. to them morals has no meaning. well as long as all of them are consenting, and it's their own business, what the hell we care what they do eh?

lucia said...

oh and i forgot to add...
as moo t mentioned, this had been going on for a long time already. think several years back a woman's magazine also did a feature on 'the swinging couples'. oh, also to add... who knows, there are worst things that happens which we do not know of.

Anonymous said...

How to join? Any phone numbers?

Pistolair.

Anonymous said...

tel nos ke?

pls log-in to:

http://www.angelfire.com/ms2/pdrmssu/balailist.htm

```stupeed-pdrm

Anonymous said...

Aiyah... cannot equate such preference as animal la... Afterall, we all are animals in some ways or another.

To me, this is a very personal preference. It is neither right or wrong. If both parties are agreeable to swing, than who are we to say or condemn or judge? Of course, if one party is forced into agreeing, that is a different story all together la....

So, yes, this swinging thingy has been around in KL for a long time.

seefei said...

lu ada itu swinging club punya borang untuk ahli tak?

Anonymous said...

Well if Swingers and Sex is what your looking for why leave the house? you can find all sorts of sex sites like this Free Sex Personals site and best of all they dont charge you to contact other members!

Anonymous said...

"To me, this is a very personal preference. It is neither right or wrong. If both parties are agreeable to swing, than who are we to say or condemn or judge?" mmm.. then we should allow incest too! am rite bunnies?????? i m sure bunnies will claim it will promotes love among family members.

This whole thing degrades human morals !

Anonymous said...

men and women have been swinging since the dawn of mankind. there weren't a lot of activities back in the days, what more the internet.

there's no right or wrong. corruption is obviously wrong, squandering the country's wealth while you're in power is also wrong but some think it's right and do it in broad daylight. who's got no shame now?

Maverick SM said...

Lucia,

Each of us are responsible for ourselves and our morals are individuated. I just wanted to observe how each individual will react to this and whether they would impose their values on others.

I like what you said in your last para: "what the hell we care what they do eh". That's what I share your philosophy.

Pistolair,

I also don't know lah.

Bunnies,

You are open-minded person.

Seefei,

Awak pun mau ka?

Jay,

You have the link for those who are curious.

Slayer,

You have a good point and you will find those indicted for incest shared your views.

msleepyhead,

The irony is that those who curse swinging probably condoned corruption, discrimination and polygamous life.

Anonymous said...

Slayer,

READ WHAT I HAVE SAID!! Dont be a shithead!!

Anonymous said...

Wah lau eh....

Life is sure passing me by. I paid so much attention to the blogs that I have missed some interesting action.

Hope said...

wow interesting. something that i never thought would happen here.

Maverick SM said...

Gongkaukau,

You betul betul gong kau kau!!!hehehehehe

Hopeful,

Hahaha...it is just to lighten our stressfulness.

Arena Green said...

Mave ah ... you everyday work work work only ... see what you have missed out on in life! Don't go and kill yourself, ok? HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! ;-)

Maverick SM said...

Anak Merdeka,

You are right; I work, work, work... and no time for fun; I must cut down on work and find some funs.

Anonymous said...

never joined this club, but till now active in swinging with few couples...
all are married status, therefore we don't sue condom.
Orgy swinging is a great thing to do. You'll love it once you start doing it.
Myself and my partner, we are both married have no problem at all to do this with other couple. We choose secured place to do this. Most of the time we spend few nights at villa in PD, Lumut, Pangkor, Langkawi, or Tioman. It was a great experience and we are addicted into it already,

Anonymous said...

I not even marry. No gf also..
:(

Anonymous said...

swinging is for stupid desperate dumb ass fuck married people.Even my dogs dont fuck around like them. These is insane. they think by swinging they could avoid cheating?? stupid reason, these are the people who tries to spoil people mind. Xde akhlak dengan akal...bodoh!!!!! i hope this wont influnce other people. think about your children future man.

Anonymous said...

Wow..how to join

Unknown said...

I'm interested n going solo..so can I join in the party