A duck hunter was out enjoying a nice morning on the marsh when he decided to take a leak.... He walked over to a tree and propped up his gun. Just then a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over, and discharged... shooting him in the genitals.
Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor.
'Well sir, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you are going to be OK. The damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage, and we were able to remove all of the buckshot.'
'What's the bad news?' asked the hunter.
'The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your cock. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister.'
'Oh well, I guess that isn't too bad,' the hunter replied. 'Is your sister a plastic surgeon?'
'Not exactly.' answered the doctor. 'She's a flute player in the local symphony, and she's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't pee in your eye.
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Story by: BayiSingh
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9 comments:
Who shot the bear?....
An 80 year old man is having his annual check-up at his doctor's office. He says to the doctor:
"I've never felt better in my whole life. In fact, I have a 20 year old bride who's pregnant and having my child. What do you think of that?"
The doctor thinks for a second and then says,
"Let me tell you a story. I know this guy who's an avid hunter. He never misses a hunting season. But one day he's in a hurry to go hunting and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his rifle. So he's in the woods and suddenly a giant grizzly bear appears out of nowhere. He raises his umbrella, points at the bear, squeezes the handle and the bear drops dead in front of him. What do you think of that?"
The old man says, "That's impossible. Someone else must have shot that bear!"
"EXACTLY" says the doctor.
the bloody fucking doctor must have screwed the lady!
he was a minister of hell.
Buying a Farm Proposal
A farmer had advertised his farm and was showing it to a prospective buyer. As they walked along a fence line the buyer saw bee hives and stopped. He said, "Those hives are pretty close to the road."
The farmer explained that the bees just made honey and have never stung anyone.
The buyer felt unsure about the sale until he proposed that he be tied to a nearby tree, naked, overnight. If he was stung once he would get the farm for free, but if he wasn't stung then he would pay the farmer double the price.
The farmer agreed and tied the now naked man to the tree.
The next morning the farmer saw the man leaning over and very pale.
"Oh no," the farmer thought, "he got stung and now I have to give him the farm!" As he reached the man he gently shook him and asked where he got stung and if he needed a doctor.
"No, no, I'm okay I guess," gasped the naked man. "I have no choice, do I?
I have to pay you double for the farm... but doesn't that calf have a mother?"
this Duck Hunter must be hunting ducks recently in Singapore right? the fella name is Bijan right???
and the Sister is Hee from Jelapang right??
Ok... the the doctor must be Goh Chok Tong lah... right?
then we should pity roasted-Mah!
'She's a flute player in the local symphony, and she's going to teach you where to put your fingers...'
Err, xcuse me, but what if his kokk has 11 holes in it? Has to use his toe, too, hasn't he?
the flute has only one hole!
A flute is a wind instrument. A kok is...???
aiyoyo ! she has to blow his kok like how she blows her flute !
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