Jokes from Malaysian Court of Law

Extract of the TBH Coroner's inquiry between Malaysian Prosecutor and the forensic expert from Thailand.

Abdul Razak representing the Public Prosecutor's Office
Dr. Porntip Rojanasunand Thai pathologist.
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ABDUL RAZAK: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
PORNTIP: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
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ABDUL RAZAK: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
PORNTIP: All of them...The living ones put up too much of a fight.
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ABDUL RAZAK: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
PORNTIP: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

ABDUL RAZAK: And Teoh Beng Hock was dead at the time?
PORNTIP: If he was not dead, he would be dead by the time I finished autopsy.

ABDUL RAZAK: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
PORNTIP: No.

ABDUL RAZAK: Did you check for blood pressure?
PORNTIP: No.

ABDUL RAZAK: Did you check for breathing?
PORNTIP: No.

ABDUL RAZAK: So, then is it possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
PORNTIP: No.

ABDUL RAZAK: How can you be so sure, doctor?
PORNTIP: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ABDUL RAZAK: I see, but could the patient be still alive nevertheless?
PORNTIP: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

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INTELLECTUAL DISCOURSE ...

BUM 2011

BUM 2011 Luncheon Forum ended at around 3pm today.

It was a success and the crowd were there.

A group picture of the BUM Organizing Committee

The man in the centre of the picture is the Prince from Africa. He came, he saw and he went back to Africa. He says he will be back. I asked him if the £3 Billion Yacht was his; he didn't answer. Maybe he will give us the answer in the next forum.

MB Tan Sri Abdul Khalid & YB Tian Chua were the guest of honour. Tony Pua was also there. YB Niz Nazmi could not attend as he was away.

AB Sulaiman, Tian Chua, Maria Chin Abdullah & Maverick were the panel speakers.

En. Wan Shariman greeting MB

Helen Hoh presenting the Commemorative Plaque to the MB.

Maverick & Desi presenting the BUM t-shirt to MB. It is just a coincidence that it is yellow. BUM is not Bersih, but Bersih members may be bloggers.

Wan Shariman receiving a copy of Zunar's book

The special guests of honour - Ismawati, Christine, Shariman, Amro & Mave.

The youngsters wanted to have a picture with MB & YB. They are Facebook addicts.

Oh, I'm tired!!! Got to take a rest and prepare for tomorrow's mission. Bye!

Dr. Ambiga Bersih

University of Exeter
Honorary graduands 2011-12
Ambiga Sreenevasan (LLD)
Thursday 21 July 11:30am

Datuk Ambiga Sreenevasan will receive her honorary doctorate in law today from the University of Exeter,UK.



Congratulation, Datuk Dr. Ambiga!

Have a nice holiday at Exeter, Dr.

MACC men include ‘abuser’, ‘bully’ and ‘the arrogant leader’

RCI names MACC men as ‘abuser’, ‘bully’ and ‘the arrogant leader’
By Debra Chong
The Malaysian Insider
July 21, 2011

The Royal Commission appointed to nvestigate Teoh Beng Hock's death concluded that most MACC officers in its Selangor office were prone to lying apart from being abusers and bullies.

The Royal Commission of Inquiry into Teoh’s death said that “Arman the bully” would “manipulate his witness to obtain evidence.”

“Ashraf the abuser.” it said, was described as Machiavellian in his method to secure evidence.

But what was most damning in the report’s assessment of MACC methods was their description of the deputy director for Selangor Hishammuddin Hashim.

“HH the arrogant leader who would have no qualms about lying as long as his ends were achieved, regardless of the means employed,” the report said.

As a boss, Hishammuddin was also said to instill fear among his officers.

Under Hishammuddin, most officers also had the inevitable habit of lying, the report concluded.

Below are the panel’s other remarks:

• “TBH appeared to have been propelled into a fear-inducing situation as shown by the pattern of calls that he made when the MACC officers were conducting their investigations into the office. He needed reassurance form his colleagues... he was pacified when given the chance by Anuar to discuss his concerns privately for a few minutes with both YB and Manoharan in the SUK building before he was taken away to the Selangor office but when not allowed to see them after that he was cut off from outside world

• “Taking away his mobilephone would have meant robbing him of his means to reality and sanity. And the MACC officers did just that. Thus for the first time in his life, TBH found himself totally and completely isolated from the outside world and thrust into desolation... This was a gross violation of TBH’s personal right, whch would have compounded his anxiety and worry

• “Arman and Ashraf behaved like inquisitors in an inquisition at the second stage of the interrogation. They instilled doubts and fears into TBH as regards the Treasury directives... TBH had to face MACC interrogation heavyweights like Arman the bully [who would manipulate his witness to obtain evidence], Ashraf the abuser [who was Machiavellian in his method to secure evidence] and HH the arrogant leader [who would have no qualms in lying as long as the ends were achieved, regardless of the means employed].

• The RCI noted that HH had been described by his fellow officers as a “workaholic” and an ambitious person who put fear in his colleagues, “Thus, it was not at all surprising that most of his officers... had the inevitable habit of lying.

• “By the time the fourth or final stage of the interrogation was over, TBH would have been almost a mental and physical wreck.”

SOURCE: The Malaysian Insider

Hypochondriac Misanthrope

Prominent lawyer and politician Zaid Ibrahim questioned whether nominations for the Ibrahim Ali award was open to all races in UiTM, including the Kadazan and other indigenous people who have shown the same criterion of "having an outstanding ethnic awareness", or whether it was exclusive to Malay students.

"What does 'ethnic awareness' mean? Does a Malay who has the value and spirit of fascism, like (Adolf) Hitler who hated the Jews and other races, qualify (for the award)? What are the methods and activities to prove the 'ethnic awareness' of that student?

"Does the student need to talk and orate on issues in accordance with Ibrahim Ali (right)? Should the speech and actions of the student comply with the laws? Does the student, in order to qualify, need to fan the spirit and emotions of other students to hate other races without any positive element and universal human values?" Zaid asked.

Zaid stressed that a race could only advance if the community practiced progressive, positive contemporary and healthy values and attitudes.

Apart from providing tertiary education, knowledge and exposure to the young generation of the community, he said, they also need to be instilled with global, rational and scientific thought.

"A successful race is a race that can make concrete contributions for common interest. It is not enough for the race to be good in politicking, which is full of empty rhetoric, and only good in giving speech and oratory."

Zaid has suggested an award for a towering bumiputera student that will emphasize mutual respect and harmony among races.

SOURCE: Extracted from: Malaysiakini.com

______________________________________________

What Zaid is expressing is about an insidious precedence that, if allowed to materialized, may trigger a chain effect within the various communities; eventually promoting a nation of discordants, communal paranoia that are deleterious to a plural society.

There are more than ten races in our society. What happens when each race would offer similar type of award which are ethnocentric bias? All our universities will then be promoting and encouraging their students to vie for such awards and the students will have to act, behave and promote ethnocentric groupings and each social groupings will fight the other to gain popularity and awards which ultimately divides the society into classes, promoting discrimination, divisions and megalomaniacs.

RM5,000 award? That's f**king cheap; many individuals can afford to sponsor such award. RM5,000 can draw 15,000 students to desecrate a society and promote hate and satanic cult. Do we need a Hitler or Nero? No, we don't; we need only an Ibrahim Ali to sent the society to hell.

1Malaysia? What's the difference with One World Order & the Illuminati?

Malaysia, oh Malaysia, what will we be? Hypochondriac misanthrope.

................................
Dictionary

Hypochondria - extreme depression of mind or spirits often centered on imaginary physical ailments;

Misanthrope - hater of mankind

Socrates defines misanthrope in relation to his fellow man: "Misanthropy develops when without art one puts complete trust in somebody thinking the man absolutely true and sound and reliable and then a little later discovers him to be bad and unreliable...and when it happens to someone often...he ends up...hating everyone."

BUM2011 LUNCHEON FORUM (UPDATES)

I wish to thank many of my friends for their moral and financial support of the BUM event. To-date I have received confirmation for bookings from my friends and colleagues of about 60 pax, i.e. 6 tables. I hope to get at least 20-30pax more.

For those who read this blog I hope you will join us at the luncheon forum. It is on a Sunday (24th July) and the event starts at 10.30am and should end by 2.30pm. We can have lunch together and have fun.

Please note that BUM is not affiliated to any political party. It is basically intended for bloggers and blog-enthusiast. The BUM organizing committee had invited BN and PR members and VIPs. We are not Bersih 2.0 nor NGO. We are bloggers and we invite bloggers and non-bloggers as a way to create interest in the blogosphere. Previous BUM meets, we had Mahathir and Khalid Ibrahim as guest of honours. At BUM 2009 we had Nuraina A. Samad, Haris Ibrahim, Ahirudin Atan aka Rocky Bru, Malik Imtiaz, Bernard Khoo, Salah aka AVoice, Howsy, Helen, Big Dog, eWoon, Raja Petra and his wife and many others who are now YBs, ADUNs & MPs. I think in 2008 we had Marina Mahathir too. However, after 2008 GE, the bloggers become Pro-BN or Pro-PR, Dato', YBs or paid-bloggers and we saw the rising of cliques and sectionalism and profiling amongst the Big guys or Super-bloggers.

However, BUM stays neutral as a group while individuals have their own political ideology and affiliations. BUM organizing committee are unknown individuals and non are superstar bloggers and non are active politicians. We are ordinary bloggers who just wanted to have fun and would love to listen to political views and opinions regarding issues of national and domestic interests. We are a social groupings and we will stay at such.

BUM2011 LUNCHEON FORUM

B.U.M. 2011 LUNCHEON FORUM
Theme: Nation Building Across The Political Divide

Date: Sunday, 24 July 2011
Time: 10.30am to 2.30pm
Venue: Maju Palace Restaurant, Maju Junction, Kuala Lumpur

ADMISSION: Open to the Public, Fee Payable at RM50 per pax with Table booking at RM500 per table for 10. Everyone are most welcome!

Programme Outline:

10.00AM: Registration of Guests starts
10.45AM: Welcoming Speech by BUM 2011 Organising Committee Chairman, YL Chong, Desi
11.00AM: Keynote Address by YB Menteri Besar of Selangor Tan Sri Khalid Ibrahim

BUFFET LUNCH TO BE SERVED 12.15PM to 1.15PM

1.15PM to 2.30PM Forum on Topic “Transformation & Reform: Sloganeering, Lip Service and Performance” featuring:

1. MP for Batu YB Tian Chua
2. Kim Quek (Author of “March to Putrajaya”)
3. Dr SM Yeoh, Maverick, Blogger-lawyer-management guru who gives free advice with a wit’ and a dosage of Malaysian profanities
4. AB Sulaiman, malaysiakini.com columnist

Please come and join us.

To all my readers and friends, please come!

****

The dilemma of Yellow color & the word "Clean"

“We don’t pick our victims, and we don’t pick the circumstances under which these cases come to us.”

“As prosecutors, our duty is to do what is right.”

--- Cyrus R. Vance Jr., the Manhattan district attorney, which is handling the sexual assault case against Dominique Strauss-Kahn

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Malaysians have more worries than before - they can't wear anything yellow in public - shirts, shoes, pants, tie and even underwear.

If you do, you can be arrested and detained under sections 3(1) and 4(1) of the Emergency (Public Order and Prevention of Crime) Ordinance 1969.

Section 3(1) provides for the arrest and detention of any person without warrant or trial under grounds contained in 4(1) that the person is acting in a manner prejudicial to public order, to suppress violence, or prevent other crimes for any period not exceeding two years.

The nationwide Royal Malaysian police force had associated wearing the yellow T-shirts or shoes with sedition, provocation and prejudice, or acting in a manner prejudicial to public order. Inspector General of Police Ismail Omar said anything which could be construed by the police as seditious or has elements of threats would face the repercussions. (Reference: Malaysiakini Report)

Even those who wear t-shirts for a gotong-royong event in Taman Pelangi, Johor, were arrested. (Reference: Reported by Malaysiakini)

"Negara Bersih, Rakyat bertuah" -'A clean nation, a fortunate people'. Oh, sorry, it's yellow!!! The gotong royong group should have use black or red, not yellow.

Last week the police had called national laureate A Samad Said to give a statement over his poem recital during a Bersih 2.0 event. He is being investigated under Section 4(1)(b) of the Sedition Act 1948 and Section 27(5) of the Police Act 1967 which is related to unlawful assembly.

If you are arrested for yellow shirts or shoes, you may even be charged for waging war on the Yang diPertuan Agong.

30 Parti Sosialis Malaysia (PSM) members, including Sungai Siput MP Dr Michael Jeyakumar were investigated for “waging war against the Yang DiPertuan Agong.” Deputy Penang police chief Datuk Abdul Rahim Jaafar said remand orders would be applied to detain the 30 activists under Section 122 of the Penal Code.

The group of 30 people were detained, including 14 women and aged between 16 and 64, while traveling in a bus from Sungai Petani towards Penang to attend a function. Out of the 30 the police detained six Parti Sosialis Malaysia (PSM) members and they will be charged under the Emergency Ordinance for waging war against the King.

Deputy Inspector-General of Police Datuk Seri Khalid Abu Bakar said the six, including Sungai Siput MP Dr Michael Jeyakumar Devaraj, have been found to be involved with foreign and subversive elements. (The Star Reported & also reported at The Malaysian Insider)

Under Section 122 of the Penal Code, “Whoever collects or attempts to collect men, arms or ammunition, or otherwise prepares to wage war with the intention of either waging or being prepared to wage war against the Yang di-Pertuan Agong or any of the Rulers or the Yang di-Pertua Negeri or abets the waging or the preparation of such war, shall be punished with imprisonment for life or imprisonment for a term not exceeding twenty years, and shall also be liable to fine.”

Section 122 was used to prosecute militant terrorist group Al Ma’unah who were involved in an audacious arms heist at an army camp in 2000 and a tense stand-off in the jungles of Perak in 2000. Now it will be used more freely.

Anything can be seditious now. It's such sensitive to the Barisan Nasional government ... anything, albeit with exceptions; such as Ibrahim Ali's rhetorical call for crusade against Christians, and a group of silat experts who warn those July 9 participants that they should expect violence. Malay daily Utusan Malaysia carried a report saying that more than 50,000 Silat exponents are prepared to “wage war” with Bersih activists.

It was also reported that Mahaguru (grandmaster) of the Pertubuhan Seni Silat Lincah Malaysia (PSSLM) Omardin Mauju threatened to “wage war” against Bersih activists and he will be meeting with 180 silat lincah masters from across the country (Reported at: freemalaysiatoday.com and Reported at Malaysia-Today)

BTW, Prime Minister Najib Razak said: "Practitioners and members of the silat martial arts can be regarded as the third line of defence prepared to safeguard the nation's sovereignty from enemies" (Reference: Silat 'warriors' third line of nation's defence: Najib) I'm sure the reference of "Enemy" is not Singapore, or America or China. Your guess is as good as mine.

It can be observed that government of Najib is getting paranoid and distressed, with the police suffering from nostalgia and defective vision and insane delusion - they captivated illusory enemies. Even those lawyers who had represented plaintiff or defendants on legal issues related to religion 0r the constitutional rights of individuals can be classified as an enemy of Islam or anti-Islam. (Reference: Reported at The Malaysian Insider)

Datuk S. Ambiga may lose her Malaysian Citizenship because she is Bersih 2.0 Chairperson. Malacca Chief Minister Ali Rustam has called on the federal government to strip S Ambiga of her citizenship for being the chairperson of Bersih 2.0 (Reference: Reported at Malaysiakini and at youtube)

I think Ambiga will not lose her citizenship; she will only be required to stay at the new Kamunting detention centre which was only renovated lately. I told Ambiga that the newly renovated place is quite nice and she would likely be the first guest of honor soon; she agreed.

"Some people want us (government) to use whatever power at our disposal," PM Najib said (Reference; 'Emergency ordinance used as preventive measure')

Some people, boss? Siapa? Ali Rustam? Ibrahim Ali? Mahathir? We Malaysians should be worried over these "some people".