Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Europa English

My good friend and fellow Mindful Mariner left me a great piece of article which I love to share with all of my readers.

'Europa English'

The European Commission will announce an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".

Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".

This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru!
Zen vot vill ve hav?

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

German as the master language ...

Unknown said...

Maverick

very funny.... so what is "WTF" in the Euro English going to sound like...????

anyway, would you able to care to update on cases like RCI on Lingam, and C4 Bomber Razak Court Case????

are these cases still being heard or Court has concluded and/or made jugdement yet???

i think Rakyat are lost since no news being updated in Mainstream Media etc.

thim-kai leh....???

Anonymous said...

Deutsch über alies

mindful mariner said...

Bahasa Malaysia is heading the same way, have you seen these bastardised words used in written BM?
e.g.

Karpet CARPET
Get GATE
Medikal MEDICAL
Tren TRAIN

and so on.......

There are established words for all of the above in BM, why substitute a misspelt English word?

Perhaps it would be far better to just discontinue the use of written Bahasa Malaysia, and use proper English instead?

bayi said...

This is a German plan to let the English think they won the language war, no?

the indie story said...

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Hope said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hope said...

LOL!

I agree with mindful mariner.. there are so many malay words that have been substituted with misspelt english words.

cakapaje said...

So, Inglish return to its root languag - old frank! Ze Germans will be happy, as the wold the Dutch.

Ze problem then wold be for ze older generation to relearn ze languag. And companies lik mikrosof will mak tonns of money.

Hmm...we wonder if other languags wold follow ze step. Malay sentenc lik "Apa khabar?" will end lik "Apa cabar?", and fighting will break! Not a good idea, we fink :)

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

How funny that you are making fun of the Germans while my friend just flew back to her homeland- Germany.

Coincidences.

Maverick SM said...

Gan,

You also German? Is it that "u" change to "a"?

Ling Ling Chatt,

Lingham case is pending the RCI's report submission. Altantunya's case is still in the court.

Mindful Mariner,

I love the new Bahasa; easy to remember. Thanks for your Europa English.

Bayi,

Ya, you may be right.

Moderator,

Thanks and I have visited your site.

Hopeful,

It's not misspelt; it's correctly spelt because the new breed of graduates have mastered the language.

Cakapaje,

Wah, you also terror!!!

Constant Drama,

I am not making fun of Germans; We enjoy the transliteration.